| 4Kids | |
|---|---|
 Is your wallet close? Good. Because we have some trading cards we'd like to sell... |
4Kids Entertainment is a New York children's television company. While it is by definition a licensing and distribution company, it is mainly known for producing English dubs of Japanese anime that are radically different from the original shows. All the changes are of course absolutely necessary, as the original programming just wasn't American enough.
4Kids on Sheezyart[]
4Kids discovered Sheezyart in early 2009. At first, the board chose to ignore the site, turned off by the large number of actual submissions of quality. But in September, the board reconsidered their decision after a crack team of analysts found that while the average age of the Sheezyart user was around 17, the average mentality was of an 8 year old, the perfect age to be sold trading cards and video games. After this crucial piece of research, 4Kids began Operation Mind-Rape, to see if they could sway the populace.
However, since Sheezyart would, at its best, represent only a small portion of the 4Kids fanbase, the budget-minded executives chose to send newly-trained interns into the field of battle. It would be a test of the interns' undying allegiance to 4Kids, as well as if they could successfully promote their wares in a smaller venue.
The current intern is Ralph, who has taken on the role of 4Kids representative after the deaths of his colleagues Joe, Bill, Frank, Steve, Adam, Frank #2, Drew, and Albert. In addition, two interns, Tyler and Perry, disappeared after a series of nuclear missile attacks. While their fate is unknown, and most sane observers believe them to be dead, the executives are still holding out hope, because if the pair do return, they can be put back to work.
Note that a female intern will never be hired in this position, because the executives believe a woman's proper role is delivering friendship speeches.
The role of the intern[]
The intern's role on Sheezyart is to draw in new fans of 4Kids via any means possible. This is a relatively easy job, mainly consisting of loudly yelling "4Kids is amazing!!!!" over and over again through a bullhorn, which is why it remains unpaid.
(Another advantage of the job being unpaid is that if the intern dies, his grief-stricken family cannot collect a pension, thus keeping money in the 4Kids coffers.)
A few interns have taken to roaming the site, nagging users to clean up their language and put a proper shirt on. While this action was never and has never been officially sanctioned by the executives, it is still supported 100% by the board, since it is a way of sharing to the world 4Kids' philosophies on life and the pursuit of happiness.
The pursuit of happiness, by the way, should be restricted to a certain 5-hour period on Saturday mornings.